EVERYbody

Everybody is racist, homophobic, sexist, and more,
and if they claim otherwise then they're oblivious to boot.

Everybody pretends to hate schmaltzy music but secretly
listens to it when no one can discover them angsting

Everybody has sex thoughts that cause them panic
and worry and embarrassment...and feels alone over it.

Everybody would steal if they could get away with it,
but pretends to be moral and community-minded.

Everybody has a standard of behavior they rigorously apply
to the entire world...excepting themselves, or their kids.

Everybody talks shit and boasts over things mostly untrue,
yet can't allow anyone else their moment in the sun.

Everybody wants to get something for nothing, take advantage
of every inroads, but bitch when someone else does the same.

Everybody thinks the rest of the world's hobbies are ridiculous,
time-wasting, and foolish while their pass-times are brilliant.

Everybody likes to kick the dog, bully the kid, scapegoat the
cashier...but nobody likes being the butt of others' abusiveness.

Everybody can kiss my ass.