Trick Answers

At wit's and rope's end,

I cried out for care,

since despite my searching

no one was there.

I wanted connection

just one last time

a stranger preferred

no reason or rhyme.

I'd reached the end

of my despair,

and there was one face

I wished would show care.

But I would not break down

and make that call,

for fear they would feel

they'd already given their all.

So I went to the store

to drown all my pain,

and forget about living

while I circled the drain.

And right there in front of me

a vision so great;

my favorite person

served up on a plate.

My heart stopped, stomach clenched,

my eyes didn't believe,

I turned and ran

lest he see my heart on my sleeve.

Vulnerable, transparent,

a total mess,

I knew he'd see truth;

I'd have to confess.

And the dilemma it seems

is quite bittersweet;

the one who brings calm

also ushers defeat.

If the problem pervading--

even though in my head--

is brought on by another,

how can I seek him, instead?

To see that which you desire

and also fear most,

is a bit like witnessing

a departed friend's ghost.

Will I despair or relax,

will I find stress or serenity,

will I hold strong or collapse,

decisions feel like an eternity.

Panicked, uncertain,

the moment surreal,

I ran for my death

since I could not feel.

At the bottom, engaging in

acts of despair, I wanted not

to see concern or a

sliver of care.

I didn't want disdain,

or disgust or remorse,

no faked smiles feigned

as a matter of course.

Don't see me at my worst,

I can't lie to you,

I don't want pity,

I just want to be through.