Why should it be

that evil

never wants for allies

 

while good folk

stand waiting

for support and supplies?

 

**

No, children,
you're not wrong
or crazy....
it is all
bullshit.

Stand strong and
forge on!

***

 

When prior generations were

promoting the notion of their

kids' inclusion and their ability

to "be anything that they wanted,"

maybe some caveats

should have been added.

 

Check Yourself



"Please...
Don't let the
smile and the good looks
fool you.

Chicken plucker."

***



Ahhh...it's the old "Campfire-Calm/Bedroom-Bitchiness" trait in action!"

Now that mid-life crisis has set in, all the people

who were hardcore bitches (while I was a naive

Pollyanna refusing to face reality and playing a

doormat) are now becoming very touchy-feely-

centered-spiritual(esque) 'children of the world.'

And that's all fine and good-- as the world turns.

But now they want to lecture and soliloquize and

testify and project my need to be less cynical and

embrace tolerance and peace!

You know, since they have now evolved enough to

comprehend that they are inherently correct in

whatever venture they deign to embark on. Yawn.

Well, bitches... here's a newsflash; I've been there and

definitely done that! I've held hands and kissey-pooed

and Kumbaya-ed till the cows come home....and I saw

the end results. So you do your thing and leave me well

the Hell enough alone.

I'm evolved and self-sufficient and a rip-roaring

survival machine. I got mine figured out...suckas.

It's kind of funny--the piousness with which they presume

their base rightness at every turn of their transformation.

And that their basis is better...even though I was in that

place some twenty years hence.

They're as self-important now as 'enlightened souls' as

they were when they were mercenary "Every man for

themselves" assholes.

See? Nobody really changes after all.

Can't Even Shit in Peace



WANTED:

Designers of public bathrooms
that take 1,200 square feet of open space
and place the only toilet
six damned inches from the wall...

with a toilet paper dispenser
positioned firmly where you would stand
in order to sit down correctly
on said toilet.

I'm looking for them;
I got a reward I want to give them.

Assholes.

***



"AIIIIIEEEEEIIIEEEEE!!!!!"



"Stop stepping on my Pussy!
You gonna stretch him out and hurt it!"



I Can Name a Few Things that Use More Facial Muscles



The exquisite Coco Peru; Drag Queens can maintain presence without smiling!

I don't know who first contrived the nonsense about smiling
taking fewer facial muscles than frowning...

Probably some nutty religious zealot trying to fool everyone
into acting all Holly-Jolly all the annoying-ass damned time.

Regardless, I call 'Bullshit.'

Frowning is my natural damned state, and it comes easily
and makes sense.

Smiles hurt my face and go against the grain of my soul.

So don't front on that shit.

Too much smiling burns worse than cum in your eye.

"IT burns, Gabriel...it BURNS!"

*******************************************

Der-de DERRRR! The New Math!

'All's I know' is...

Congress is obviously not made up of the

sharpest tools in the shed.

They might shoulda re-thunk that whole business

about making guns easily accessible to the huddled

unwashed, because with their UNpopularity at an

even deeper record low now...well, you do the math.

Take away our voices and our power, and

in the same moment grant us access to guns?!?

Tain't too swift, speedy!

Folks are ready for more than just 'Election Day'

comeuppance, thank you very much.

***

Get it Up

Life is HARD, kids!

So YOU better get Hard...

and Fuck it before it Fucks you!

***

A Call to Arms

Pat Buchanan recently renewed his

'Total Dick Card' by saying some

new outrageous shit about how

he and his right wing conservative

(not-even) Christians need to get brutal

with gays and lesbians.

Well, Patricia, be careful

what you wish for.

See, you and your ilk

have been raging assholes for decades,

and we're only now fighting fire

with force.

You wanna up your game, sissy?

Well, up yours.

We can get shitty and load guns too, bitch.

But we don't need to threaten you;

you and yours look pretty piss-poor.

I imagine you'll be dropping dead and

turning into fossil fuels any day now.

But we can take you,

even if your hate ends up

empowering you another few

dozen years, Nosferatu.

***

Translations 'R' Us

When other people dismiss you and condemn you,

it doesn't mean that you aren't worth paying attention

to or that you don't have something to offer.

It means your detractors aren't smart enough to

recognize your value, or they're compensating for

some Everest-sized shame and lack of confidence

of their own.

Either way, if you just learn to say "Fuck 'em all,"

you've kind of amply covered all your bases.

***

Pest Control

"HOW  DUBYA  LIKE  ME,  NOW !?!?"

Same as before, you inbred,

ignorant, war-mongering dip shit;

Not a single god damned lick.

Go crawl in a hole and die,

why don'tcha-- you outdated cheese.

You sponsored a library?

That's like Cheney teaching charm school.

That's like Republicans feeding the poor.

That's like a low-intellect illiterate buffoon with

no original thought and no concept of reality

promoting reading.

(Oh, wait--it is like that; you and Wifey

got that shit covered tight!)

You're a screw-up, a coke head, a

racist, a killer of men women and children,

a petty tyrant, a liar, a silver-spooned

beneficiary of plenty-o-money and

two stolen/purchased elections.

That's your legacy, con man.

Let it never be forgotten.

***

Disparity Brings Clarity

Quick! Act like we're all as stupid as

'The Powers That Be' wish we were,

and explain this to me!

Explain the disparity between allowing gun-toting

alarmists and nuts the 'freedom to assemble'

when we know they're planning to take down America,

they threaten and intimidate at every turn,

and their purpose is to oppose the law....

...

yet authorities demonize and assault the peaceful protesters

who want to hold accountable the corrupt system that

exists (and its warlords,) and who are looking

for accountability and making the system work

from within.

Hmmnnnnnn.

Thanks for making it clear, Gestapo Amerika;

Violence and the Threat of Violence Rules.

We need to fight fire with fire and start

bringing weapons and making veiled threats

in order to get your attention and

not be abused when attempting to

exercise our free speech rights.

Totally doable.

***

Impending Utter Cat-Ass-Trophy

I may need to pull a 'rethink' on

all this 'gun rights' horseshit!

Since we can't keep guns away from the loons

(you know--the ones who already have them!),

let's just start handing out loaded guns to

EVERYBODY!

You know; Mexicans, Gays, Blacks, Liberals,

Mentally Ill, Menstruating Women, Single Women,

Loose Women, Lesbian Women, Abortionists,

Atheists, Immigrants, and so on...

and let us be 'more than ready' when the

nut balls start some shit.

If you can't beat 'em, be enjoined by 'em!

***

A Shift in Consciousness!

Hey, kids--LOOK!

Some good news on the economic future

of America! Woo-hoo!

It's no longer profitable to

maintain the military industrial complex

that once made this country...well,

the undesired and despised police of the world!

(Hmmm...wonder if that coincides with

Cheney being out of office? Oh well!)

But fear not--

we're shifting gears and charting

a course for a more humanitarian

endeavor to ensure the future

of our souls as well as our pocketbooks! 

Now we're a Prison Industrial Complex!

All right!
Just throw everybody in jail; all the poor

people, political dissenters, crazy people,

and the unemployed...now that prisons are

for-profit organizations, it's not substituting

one system of taxpayer welfare for another!

It's awesome; just keep whittling away

at the populace until there's nobody left on

the outside of the prison walls but some

immensely satisfied uppity white guys with

massive bank accounts.

Onward and upward;

profiting off hardship is the American Way!

"Sucks to be You"

oughta be our new national slogan!

www.TamingBeast.blogspot.com

Paul Mooney's "Analyzing White America"

A raucous, truth-telling, no-holds-barred

rendering of the white folks in America

as seen by the real-deal, Paul Mooney.

Not for the easily-offended.

Paul Mooney "Analyzing White America" full album

***

"Rock Me Gently...Rock Me Slowly..."

"Rock Me Sexy Jesus"

lyrics by The Ralph Sall Experience

(from the movie "Hamlet 2")

He's totally the man

The man with the plan

He traveled through time

In an awesome custom van

Moralistically,

He taught us to be good

How to set our souls free

And do all the shit we should

Now we do the right deeds

We go to church and such

And we stopped smoking weed

Well at least not as much

And we can't forget to mention,

The golden rule

Do unto others as you would have them...

Slam bam, spank you ma'am

[singing begins]

Do unto you!

Rock me, rock me, rock me sexy Jesus

He died for our sins

You gotta believe us

Rock me, rock me, rock me sexy Jesus

All night long

Rock me, rock me, rock me sexy Jesus

We're really amazed

You gotta believe us

Rock me, rock me, rock me sexy Jesus

All night long

He lays down science,
it really blows my mind
But he's also got abs
that transcend space and time

He's the son of God
and I think that's cool

But he's got swimmer's bod
 like nobody do

(chorus)

The Immaculate Conception
really makes my day
But the dude's got lats
that make me feel gay

"Turn the other cheek"
is really showing class

But I really think it's sexy
when he kicks Satan's ass

Kicks Satan's ass!

Kicks Satan's ass!

Rock me, rock me, rock me sexy Jesus
He died for our sins

You gotta believe us

Rock me, rock me, rock me sexy Jesus

All night long

Rock me, rock me, rock me sexy Jesus

We're really amazed

You gotta believe us

Rock me, rock me, rock me sexy Jesus

All night long

Oooooo, oooooo,

ooooo, ooooooo

Ahhh, Ahhhh,

Jesus, H. Christ!

His zen zing zang is gonna appease us

Rock me, rock me, rock me sexy Jesus

His holiest of ways

Ain't never gonna leave us

Rock me, rock me, rock me sexy Jesus

All night long

 

Lyrics compiled by www.MaxiLyrics.com

***



Pedophile Myths: Addressing Stupidity as a Social Norm

Everyone gives lip service to being 'concerned' about pedophiles.

It's the social equivalent of being 'opposed to war' or 'being glad

no one got hurt in the tornado.'

But the way people think about child rapists and child abusers

is stilted and way off track.

The average person (especially due in part to Fox News and

churches) believe most pedophiles to be homosexual, and of

course believes that most (if not all) homosexuals are actually

pedophiles.

But even when molestation is same-sex based, it has little to do

with orientation. Seeing children as sexualized objects, or seeing

them as capable of consenting to such behavior, is a pathological

disorder. A sickness of mind and spirit. It is in no way connected

to homosexuality or heterosexuality.

Actions of abuse are about abuse; lust, frustration, rage, possession.

They denigrate the object of desire, even as the perpetrator 

reconciles the incident as 'loving' and 'consensual,' or beneficial

to the child in some way. 

What'cha covering for, Bill? Secrets,
or stupidity?

(More precisely, homosexuality is not a pathological disorder;

and even hundreds of years of churches' hateful rhetoric and

indoctrination cannot change that. This is supposedly no longer

the Dark Ages, but many people's minds are dealing with the

information that was disproven and outdated long ago.)

But because people see homosexuality as an illness, they easily

make the jump that--as bad as they have been erroneously taught

about the nature of homosexuals is--surely child rape must be in

our wheel house.

Well, here's a newsflash. Homosexuals are attracted to adults

just like heterosexuals are attracted to adults. Those that are

sick are sick; they are not reflective on every other homosexual

on the planet, just as no thinking person would attribute one or

two black men's actions to every other black man on the planet,

nor the actions of a few women to every other woman on the planet,

and so on.

(And if Boy Scouts of America is such an upstanding organization, why

did they feel compelled to cover up over 500 cases of child sexual abuse,

refusing to report the incidents to police over two decades? **

Were they looking out for their members, or were they keeping secrets for

powerful married members of the community, helping keep their group

and funding intact, and doing their best Catholic-style face saving?)

Character is individual; we all are to be judged solely on our

independent actions and honor, not on surmised prejudices.

And it isn't openly gay people who are the threat to anything!

(Hence the ridiculousness of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, or the Boy

Scouts ban on (openly) gay scouts and masters, or DOMA, etc.

Those of us who are content and free with who we are not the

ones who typically do wrong to others. It's the duplicitous

'upstanding citizen and 'pillar-of-the-community' who's hiding

secrets and living a double life you need to be worried about.

All those 'too good to be true,' obsessed with public appearances,

religiously-obsessed, goofy sumbitches who are the real threat.

The ones who have manufactured their entire lives to appear

to be everything people want them to be, for the express purpose

of drawing in victims, taking advantage of them, making them

question themselves, threatening them with the perpetrator's

ability to make things difficult for them, and who dispute a

victim's credibility if caught (since no one in the town wants to

believe the truth behind their 'perfect neighbor/congregant/father.'

It's not the devil (stereotype, mythologized, bogeyman, etc.)

that you think you know that is the problem. It's the devil that

made you ignore them; usually the same ones who rally the troops

to crucify us self-loving gays and lesbians.

******************************************************

 ** Boy Scout cover-up

Refreshed and Ready!

The CPAP is over y'all; the failing GOP party was resuscitated,
saved in its last dying breaths.

The CPAP--huh? Oh...excuse me...the CPAC...my bad.

(Though the other did make more sense.)
Anywho, we got us some new resolutions to trick votes outta folks.

We will prove to you that we are the party willing to do a complete
reversal on all our beliefs in order to stay in power!

Conviction? Fuck a conviction!

What do you want us to say and do to win you over? No, really--
tell us! Because we damned well can't figure it out and come to a
consensus.

We got an unbridled, nuclear-threat level of crazy with no place to
go. Like the Catholic church, we're awaiting a reinvention....some
rehabilitation...hell, even a resurrection.

(Although...it's probably best for most of us that we don't wish too
hard for that last one. Y'never know where we might end up.)

But in the meantime, send us some new groups to hate on so
we can keep our momentum going.

We may be changing our facade, but let's not get outta control;
pure evil doesn't roll up and go away. It just gets a touch-up.

We'll be destroying lives with self-aggrandizing bullshit again
before you know it.

*********************************************