Friday, May 31, 2013

I Can Name a Few Things that Use More Facial Muscles

The exquisite Coco Peru; Drag Queens can maintain presence without smiling!
I don't know who first contrived the nonsense about smiling
taking fewer facial muscles than frowning...

Probably some nutty religious zealot trying to fool everyone
into acting all Holly-Jolly all the annoying-ass damned time.

Regardless, I call 'Bullshit.'

Frowning is my natural damned state, and it comes easily
and makes sense.

Smiles hurt my face and go against the grain of my soul.

So don't front on that shit.

Too much smiling burns worse than cum in your eye.

"IT burns, BURNS!"


Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Der-de DERRRR! The New Math!

'All's I know' is...

Congress is obviously not made up of the
sharpest tools in the shed.

They might shoulda re-thunk that whole business
about making guns easily accessible to the huddled
unwashed, because with their UNpopularity at an
even deeper record low now...well, you do the math.

Take away our voices and our power, and
in the same moment grant us access to guns?!?

Tain't too swift, speedy!

Folks are ready for more than just 'Election Day'
comeuppance, thank you very much.


Friday, May 24, 2013

Get it Up

Life is HARD, kids!

So YOU better get Hard...

and Fuck it before it Fucks you!


Wednesday, May 15, 2013

A Call to Arms

Pat Buchanan recently renewed his
'Total Dick Card' by saying some
new outrageous shit about how
he and his right wing conservative
(not-even) Christians need to get brutal
with gays and lesbians.

Well, Patricia, be careful
what you wish for.

See, you and your ilk
have been raging assholes for decades,
and we're only now fighting fire
with force.

You wanna up your game, sissy?
Well, up yours.

We can get shitty and load guns too, bitch.

But we don't need to threaten you;
you and yours look pretty piss-poor.
I imagine you'll be dropping dead and
turning into fossil fuels any day now.

But we can take you,
even if your hate ends up
empowering you another few
dozen years, Nosferatu.


Friday, May 10, 2013

Translations 'R' Us

When other people dismiss you and condemn you,
it doesn't mean that you aren't worth paying attention
to or that you don't have something to offer.
It means your detractors aren't smart enough to
recognize your value, or they're compensating for
some Everest-sized shame and lack of confidence
of their own.
Either way, if you just learn to say "Fuck 'em all,"
you've kind of amply covered all your bases.