Friday, December 21, 2012

Pray for the Children? Pray for the Praying!

So the gun nuts are using the shooting in Newtown
to call for even more guns and as an excuse to hoard
even more high-powered killing devices...

the religiously intolerant are calling upon their
crazy, false version of god to save the rest of us....

the politicians and the greedy evangelicals are using 
the mass killing to (conveniently) blame the people they
have always hated and feared, promoting their dark agenda....

and the media continues to milk the event for every
last shred of mileage they possibly can, unrelenting and
self-congratulating all the way to ratings gold.

When did sanity go on an extended Leave of Absence?

I'm sort of hoping that tonight does mark the end of the
world; this planet needs a humanity-enema.


Label Yourself!





Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Orgy-Ball Run

Thinking over the things I might most want to do in prepping
for the 'End of the World' this Friday's end, I
considered inner peace, feasting, saying final
words of kindness to loved ones, but I
always come back (heh heh!) to the idea
of one, big, delicious screw-fest.

So, seeing as I live in the dead-center apex
of Dullardsville and Pent-Up Central, I'd
appreciate an e-mail of info as to where I can
find my closest "World's End Orgy."

A Good Time will be had by all!

"It's the last ass-grab of the year--or any year!"


Thursday, December 6, 2012

Alone for the Holidays

Recently a friend opined that she was sad and lonely
because none of her family had contacted her during
the Thanksgiving week. I encouraged her that this
was a particularly celebratory piece of news, and I
would feel damned proud if none of my Fam-Damned-ly
ever contacted me again!

It was perhaps not the sought after reaction, but it
was for damned sure a legitimate one!

What's to despair in being alone?

No more being barely tolerated by two-faced
fickle fucks whom you can't stand anyway?

Finding out the hard way that everyone is
fair-weather and unreliable in a real pinch?

Oh wait! I know what lonely and depressed people miss
about being around other people! Being interrupted
and condescended to!

Or perhaps being ignored!

Or maybe it's being treated like you're crazy while
everyone else talks of equally banal and ridiculous
errata and pretends they're fabulous?

No one talks anymore, anyway--they all have their
faces planted in electronics. Who needs a pseudo
'face-to-face' ?

I say "Embrace the aloneness!"

Being alone is enlightening and the ultimate
freedom. Detach from the manufactured
notion that you cannot accomplish or be
satisfied amidst your own company!

Strip down pretense.
Reject compromise.
Abandon 'settling.'

The best writers in the world will tell you,
there's nothing that beats separating from
the rat race to gain perspective and


Saturday, December 1, 2012

Trade Off

"Here ya go, fella...some shoes ought to offset
the harassment, abuse, beatings, killings,
and allowance of said crimes against you and
yours by my fellow officers though the years!
Mazel Tov!"


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

'Tis the Season (Not Really)

Fuck a "Family Gathering."
That's right...Fuck it.

The worst asshole in our 'family' is the one all obsessed
with the family tree and finding out about the past.
Sure enough--he can't deal with real people so
he's safe dealing with the dead.

Personally, I don't wanna know my living
relations, so why would I want to read about the ones
who are gone?

This time of year is ludicrousness beyond compare;
a manufactured 'holiday' where people feel
compelled to spend time with blood relatives
they're virtual strangers with (or avoid due
to deep and abiding hatred of them) and
play-act togetherness for a day...or three.

If there's a reason y'all don't get along,
I say Go With It! Trust your instincts!

Don't let tradition and guilting and obligation
cause you to spend another moment of unhappiness.
Life's too short, and gene pools are too shallow.

Family's what you make of it; and mine is magical....
(I just want to make those sum bitches DISAPPEAR!)

I'll be contentedly and calmly spending a day
all by myself, knowing it's the best company I could
possibly have.


Monday, November 19, 2012

Baaa, Baaa, Black-Friday Sheep

Figured I'd go ahead and get this out of the way...

Because I would hate like hell to
celebrate just one god damned holiday
before we're prepping for the
next three or four.

Jesus', Juan, and Maria... enough already.


Wednesday, November 14, 2012

"Yes...unfortunately, I CAN hear you now."

So, I know that cell phone use is evidently more
addictive that porn, nicotine, and alcohol put
together. Silly bitches (of both sexes) can't be
bothered to turn off their cell phones in line,
at the store, at a restaurant, in the library, or
(of course) in a moving vehicle.

I know that one day last week there had to
have been at least a dozen ignorant mother
fuckers who were driving while on a cell phone
within just a short 5 block drive.
Taking corners, missing stoplights, on the highway.
They don't care; they're invulnerable...greatest drivers ever.


Ignorant-ass, ridiculous, life-risking pieces of shit;
HANG UP the mother-fucking phones AND DRIVE.

Hang 'em up in public too. Here's a news flash;
I do not give a good god damn about your
private life, your drama, your personal business
of any sort. Calm down, stop shouting, stop
posing, stop making me hear your worthless

Because we both know you are NOT that
damned important, and really have nothing to say.


Monday, November 12, 2012

Bad Pig

Anyone who's been inside the front door of the
Donalsonville Piggly Wiggly and has a nose that
works knows there is a serious problem with
mildew/mold outbreak, probably as bad as the one
over at the EMC office lobby.

After having suffered headaches from smelling
the offensive odor for over a year now, I
figured I'd see if they were planning on doing
anything about it.

So, the clerk brings out the manager, who
looks quite disagreeable to my reporting this, and
asks me "Who are you!??!"
As in "Who the fuck are you to be reporting
anything about my store? Who do you think you are?
Are you with OSHA? Piggly Wiggly corporate?"


So she sends me to the Produce department since
that's not her department (although one would think
store air quality would be under a manager's purview)
and I explain that the entire produce section and the front
area where the cash registers are have a horrible mildew
smell. Repeatedly I'm asked to explain where it is.
I don't know how difficult "all throughout" is to
understand. To affect 1,200 square feet, a smell is bad.

So he ends up deciding it's a single shelf, explaining
that it can't be the machines because they were all
taken out and cleaned recently. I suggested the floors
would be a good possibility--water getting underneath
and not being dried--but he didn't think that was the answer.

I was told that they would 'look into it,' which of course
 is the business equivalent of "let's talk soon."
Here's the thing; this is not something I alone have
smelled; a cashier there just last week said that 3 other
people had complained that very day.

So, if you want something done about it, you
should probably call and report the matter. And if you
or a friend or family member work there, you should
definitely raise a stink! Because mold and mildew
infestation is serious shit, man, and it doesn't just
affect those who are already impaired by age or lung
or allergy issues; there are severe long-tern health problems
that affect the respiratory system from prolonged
exposure. Just in case you care.

Personally, I think I'll just shop elsewhere.


Saturday, October 27, 2012

Key & Peele: "I Sunk Your Battleship, Bitch!"

The guys continue to hit them out of the park!

Even if you're familiar with the scathing and hilarious "Key & Peele" sketch

comedy show, this is one you can watch over and over for a good belly laugh!

Take it away, fellas.


Friday, October 26, 2012

Stick with What Ya Know

I'm thinking I'll go as Frankenstein's Monster
for Halloween this year,
since there's barely any prep work involved.

I'm sullen and dark,
I have a big-ass forehead you can
show a movie on,
my body is precariously pieced together
and definitely doesn't match up,
due to back and hip problems
I stumble more than I walk,
everyone steers clear of me
due to projections and misunderstandings,
and due to this bronchial
'walking crud' I've had for the last month,
I sound like ol' 'Frankie' here--
every time I breathe I clear my throat like
a professional librarian.

"Urrrghhh! Aheckkk! Ughhhngh!"

Hey, play to your strengths!
First rule of the stage.


Thursday, October 25, 2012

Redneck Strategy

"Shore 'nuff;
If I jus' keep
smiling and charming
the whole time
I'm lying through my teefs
and talking shit,
it makes you
as stupid as I am!
Damn I'm smooth!


Wednesday, October 24, 2012

A Note of 'Thanks' to the Log Cabin Republicans

The innate beauty of a repressed, self-hating homo;
the incomparable Roy Cohn

A Big and Hearty "Thanks...for Nuthin'"
to the joke-of-all-jokes, the Queer Republicans.

Followed by a healthy
"Go Fuck Yourselves!"
Because, seriously, no one else

had better be having sex with your worthless asses.

That's right; No more Dick for you.

Not an issue, I suppose, since
your heads are so far up your collective asses
that there's no possibility of fucking or sucking, anyway.

Too bad there's not an award for most embarrassing,
pandering, wrong-minded, self-destructive
nutty behavior.
At least then you'd have something to show for your actions.

LCR's Executive Director; What the fuck is he so happy about?


The Donald. Oy Vey...Again?

Well, you really can't tell people with more money
than sense to stop embarrassing themselves, so....
might as well go along for the ride.


12:00 Noon:
Donald: (intermittent whining, whimpering, and mewling)

12:01 p.m.
Donald: "Uh, all know why I have called you here
today....because I am hungry for attention and out of
my god damned mind."

12:02 p.m.
Donald: "I hereby accuse President Obama of being
someone I will go to any lengths to discredit,
including inventing bullshit and making mountains
out of mole hills."

12:03 p.m.
Donald: " can I make it about ME? me, me, me, me,
I'm just so darned angry I won't be ruling the nation!
But at least I want to have someone in there looking
out for billionnaires, dammit."

12:04 p.m.
Crowd: "Who gives a fuck, you washed up cunt?
Why don't you get a life, you screwball?"

Yeah, I think that about sums it up.


Monday, October 22, 2012

Short and Sweet

It's not "Rebel Without a Clue"
nor "Rebellion without Just Due"

It's Recognition of How Far Wrong
the Ship has Sailed all along.

Take this simple phrase your way
and you'll be prepped, come what may:

"Fuck you, fuck them,
fuck one, fuck all,
fuck them hard and fast,
right up against the wall.
Fuck off, fuck on,
fuck night, fuck day,
with pencil dick, donkey dick,
one ball, or none.
Do whatever it takes
to fuck a fucker,
they're not hard to find
there's always one sneaking
up from behind.
Call a spade a spade
and stand up to the shit,
or come sooner or later,
you'll have no dick
to fuck with."


Saturday, October 6, 2012

Calling it Like I Smell 'em

I might as well carry this sign around,
full fucking time.

Seems like all I have surrounding me are bitches,
cons, liars, Can't-Understand-Nothing-Trolls, and selfish
 assholes...and brother, I am sick of it!


Looks like Madge has the right idea there
with a little Fall cleaning!

"Crazy, begone! I gots my own shit
sandwich to finish devouring!
Don't need yours, too!"


Friday, September 28, 2012

As If

People always ask me "How can you stay out there in the woods all

alone? Don't you get bored?"

"NO...I read."

"But...don't you get lonely?"

"NO, I don't.  Have you met any human beings lately?"

When you have invested time and money and energy and trust into

other human beings, only to get fucked hard in the end--and no, not

in a good way--your appreciation of people and the 'necessity' of

relations tends to diminish in a drastic way.

You come to realize that the concept of 'friend' is chiefly a construct

of fiction, wishful thinking, and romanticism. A desperate effort, really,

to find externally what should first and foremost be found within.

And everyone wants to chime in and 'educate' you and patronize you

with pithy platitudes about not letting bad apples spoil barrels, and

actually cheating self from positive experiences, and how life is not

worthwhile without social interaction.

blah, blah. I would counter ...."Bullshit."

Once I have burned my hand on a hot grill 49 times, I don't need a

magical 50th experience to put my accounting into perspective.

I got this.

I like my own company too much to ruin it by introducing someone else.


Tuesday, September 18, 2012

The Difference Is...

Remember when Sarah Palin....

the gun-toting crazy bitch and media-whore from 2008....

ran an ad campaign that suggested targeting certain
districts with gun sights.....

and this was the tamer of the results?

And then this was the biggest response to happen in the
effort to bring about accountability? and me would be in jail
for conspiracy to incite, or some
other vague but useful legal angle
to prosecute people who are
obviously guilty of misconduct and
poor reasoning. Hmmnn.

'Instigation' is a crime, especially when murder
and incapacitation are the results.


Hand in Hand, Arms in Arm

But I do recall when my unarmed self,
flying solo, was campaigning for Obama
in 2008 and two ignorant local coppers
pulled their handguns on me in a feat
of intimidation and insanity.

As fate would have it, both those
inbred bastards are in the ground now
after less-than-stellar final days.

Sometimes shit does come back
around, after all, eh?

Keep firearms away from the
matter of protest and campaigns.

It's not a coincidence that the
people with the wrong party politics also
have the presumption to use physical
violence and intimidation to try and foist
their crazy views on others.


Thursday, September 6, 2012

"Whatever it Takes, Babycakes!"

Survival of the Fittest is, at heart, dependent on the
flexibility of learning old ways aren't working, and
willingness to learn new ones.

Underhandedness is not off the table.
Morality is an outdated concept.
"By Any Means Necessary" is the new standard of
excellence, and slogan for all who wish to see tomorrow.

If 'anything goes,' then the only real answer to halting
someone out to harm you is to end that person mercilessly.
Do or die,'re either the winner or the loser;
there is no in between.

A bullet to the head of an opponent can make things a
bit messy if you don't have the resources for disposal
(or, greasing the hands of necessary accomplices.)

A lack of resources isn't a dead-end, however. One can
attempt to fly under the radar and keep your nose clean.
That doesn't mean staying out of the arena; War can be
waged in all kinds of ways.

And you'd best be prepared to rumble; staying out of the
fight promises nothing. Some will imagine you weak,
even target you as a result of passivity. No rest for the weary.
Eventually, you have to throw down to prove you can.

The problem is we live in a society where the pretense
at least is of a civilized society, and there are certain
agreed-upon standards of behavior that unpopular, poor,
and unconnected people must abide by, lest we wish to
be disappeared into the labyrinth of one institution or

Creativity, hand in hand with bold determination, is our
only counter. Whereas many have wealth, resources,
compatriots, and network to rely on, the rest of us are in
the midst of the dog-eat-dog harsh reality.

Personally, being left with no one and nothing has made me
stronger than ever. I've found depths of pain and gristle I
never knew existed. I have tapped into my animalistic side,
become a warrior and survivalist, and deadened myself to
all weakness.

It's all a part of the process. In this world, in order to
hold your own, everything old must die in order for the
new you to be born. If you want to live badly enough,
that's where it's at.


Saturday, September 1, 2012

"All's Fair in Ambivalence and Water Sports"

The 'Golden Rule?'

I have my own version;
the 'Golden Shower Rule.'

"Don't piss all over me,
and I won't piss all over you."


Thursday, August 16, 2012

Wake-Up Call: Thinning the Herd

The repellent savagery and 'Big Hot Mess' that is Life
may not be as readily evident in America as it is, say,
in the starving regions of West Africa or other more
impoverished global stages in the 'third world.'

But aside from the prestige and pretense of the upper
crust regions, there are plenty of American slums, drug
dens, homeless populations, horribly impoverished
neighborhoods, that all point to the illegitimacy and failing
of the American Dream.

These days, there's a greater likelihood of finding these
dire situations than of finding happy-go-lucky dream
achievers. (But please, Johnny-come-lately Veep runners,
tell us alllll about the 'opportunities!')

There are multitudes of uninsured living without assistance,
the disabled struggling without funds or care, the under-
employed striving to do right and still not make it, college
grads with no opportunities, addicts with no help or counseling
available to them, and so on.

People 'Living' the barest of existences, horror stories really.

We overlook them's hard to look directly into
the sun and still be able to see.

When there's nothing to be done, it's easier to ignore
the image or notion that offends us.

Inner-city violence , drug overdosing, spread of disease,
millions of miserable self-destructive, self-hating
homosexuals (Thank you, religious Overlords!), racism
and separatism still quite alive and thriving, and all of us
conveniently geographically and emotionally distanced
from one another, worshipping our new god of autonomy
and independence.

We avoid the dark for as long as we can, immersing
ourselves, distracting, comforting, medicating, consuming,
until we are irrevocably finding ourselves in the midst of
the tale, or no longer able to lay witness to the invisible
around us.

There is a storm coming, and it's going to be bad.

The landscape will change radically, and much of what
we all 'know' (assume) to be true will be torn asunder.
...revealed for the false hope it ever was.

Not everyone will survive the transition.
Already, T.P.T.B. are pushing through for the 'lowest of the
lows' to be done away with; lack of care for the terminally
ill, lack of proper treatment for the mentally ill, no treatment
for returning vets with disorders, no assistance for those
without jobs or resources, and so on.

We cut the school staffs and the social programs when those
areas are ill-equipped to handle any more surrenders.

The new status quo is going to shock the Bejeezus out of some.

What goes up, must come down, though.
And the bill has finally come due.


Saturday, August 11, 2012

"To scare myself with my own desert places."

Living in the South is like being in the desert. Not in the most
obvious sense, as with the heat and bothersome bugs and
perils of snakes and other horrific critters... although that's
here, too.

No, in the south it's dry.
And Nothing grows here, either.

The only way to get some excitement is to have heatstroke
or suffer from the effects of a mirage.

"Why not move?" A simple enough query.

Would if I could.

Times are tough, obligations plentiful.  But that's not all.

All the Kerouacs and world travellers and adventurous sorts...
all the 'Kumbaya' and openness to discovery....all that 'hitch
your wagon to the stars' and 'the world is my oyster' stuff makes
for great movies, and it sounds like a pip.


But it's mostly great when you're in your twenties.
Maybe your thirties.

Works great at any age when you're well-off financially, or
have places to stay should/when problems arise.

Works great when your body's in great shape and your
options are plentiful.

But my world's grown smaller and less-populated, habits
have become history, and I know what I know.

Making the most of what you have should be an Olympic
event--it sure takes a ton of hard work, sacrifice and training.

Perhaps I'm merely drained of all soul and adventurous
spirit from my long and arduous journey through the swampy,
intolerant, unflinching environs of the South.

Those words and glares and 'sublimated' threats are as
sticky as an armpit at High Noon.

Maybe the whole point of venturing out of the desert is
the hope that--against the odds--there is something
beyond these limited borders, which have now afflicted
our minds, too.

If only we can overcome the fear that the torture to come
is worse than the torture which has kept us in place.


Saturday, July 14, 2012

The Blend is the Thing

Nobody has the life they planned.

People might have portions or segments of
a desired life or lifestyle, if they're extraordinarily

But mostly even those folks are making do
with the cards dealt, accommodating the
unforeseen darkness and the different form of
light that appeared.

We can make peace with things as they are.

We can work overtime to avoid the reality of
loss and pain and despair and struggle.

We can find new interests and aspects to embolden us.

We can take satisfaction from rare moments.

We can be content with our best efforts.

But nobody holds magic in their hands...
not for more than a short, fleeting moment
of time.

No one has their heart's desire;
the appearance to the contrary is often just
a ploy to make others jealous, and to fictitiously
'hold the cards' as means of compensation for
the real thing.

No matter how Rico Suave' or Paul Perfect folks
pretend to be, they have the same dark demons
they're running from as every other sad-sack bastard
on the planet.

Maybe that can help you sleep better at night.


Friday, June 29, 2012

The Voices We Can't Shake: Inner Scripts

All of us have an inner voice--or voices--that either rule us,
guide us, or ride along with us.

What differs is whether or not we are conscious of the noise,
whether it works for or against us, what the origin of the voice(s)
are, and whether or not we have a desire to change it.

How do we alter a (typically) lifelong habit when we decide to change?

Even the being aware of needing to change, to disregard the over-
bearing societal influence to comply, for example, implicates the
level of sway it has over us. (If we begin to think or act in direct
response to said existence, we are still essentially controlled--or
at least affected--by its presence.)

To disregard or discard the influence of others or Other, and become
singularly focused on individual's own need, at
expense of all else...distanced from all means of failing
to even register anything else...that is a great achievement.

Complete self-absorption and self sufficiency is the ultimate key
to survival.


Thursday, June 14, 2012

The New Pendulum Swing

"Pretty pleases" and well-written speeches aren't
going to change jack in this world where greed and
business and money and power rule.

There is no moral compass to appeal to within
the hearts of the governing 1-to-2%.

There is no equality within the courts; justice and
public opinion are for sale to the highest bidder.

We the impoverished or powerless have no standing;
the corporations and the elite own the judges, the
lawyers, the courts, the police, the media,
the military, the money.

This is war.
There is only survive or fail, live or die.

Destroying what they own is the only thing that
reaches them...the one thing that they understand.

Violent take-down of the Powers-That-Be is the
only recourse remaining.

Can we mobilize and commit before it's too late?