Friday, December 27, 2013

 
Why should it be
that evil
never wants for allies
 
while good folk
stand waiting
for support and supplies?
 
**

Monday, December 23, 2013

No, children,
you're not wrong
or crazy....
it is all
bullshit.

Stand strong and
forge on!

***

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

 
When prior generations were
promoting the notion of their
kids' inclusion and their ability
to "be anything that they wanted,"
maybe some caveats
should have been added.
 

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Check Yourself


"Please...
Don't let the
smile and the good looks
fool you.

Chicken plucker."

***


Ahhh...it's the old "Campfire-Calm/Bedroom-Bitchiness" trait in action!"


Now that mid-life crisis has set in, all the people
who were hardcore bitches (while I was a naive
Pollyanna refusing to face reality and playing a
doormat) are now becoming very touchy-feely-
centered-spiritual(esque) 'children of the world.'

And that's all fine and good-- as the world turns.

But now they want to lecture and soliloquize and
testify and project my need to be less cynical and
embrace tolerance and peace!

You know, since they have now evolved enough to
comprehend that they are inherently correct in
whatever venture they deign to embark on. Yawn.

Well, bitches... here's a newsflash; I've been there and
definitely done that! I've held hands and kissey-pooed
and Kumbaya-ed till the cows come home....and I saw
the end results. So you do your thing and leave me well
the Hell enough alone.

I'm evolved and self-sufficient and a rip-roaring
survival machine. I got mine figured out...suckas.

It's kind of funny--the piousness with which they presume
their base rightness at every turn of their transformation.
And that their basis is better...even though I was in that
place some twenty years hence.

They're as self-important now as 'enlightened souls' as
they were when they were mercenary "Every man for
themselves" assholes.

See? Nobody really changes after all.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Bureaucratic Blunder: Georgia DFACS


 

The following is an e-mail I sent a few weeks ago
to several state service agencies, the Department of
Human Resources, DFACS, congressional representatives, and several more
parties I hoped would be of use. (Side note; It's amazing how many official websites
sport invalid e-mail addresses or defunct links on them. And the Office of the
Secretary of State is staffed by some real dense jack-wagons.)

The letter is pretty self-explanatory. The only thing I might add is that many
of these folks are also without phones or vehicles, two additional impediments
to this process.

*****************************************************************

 I am having serious problems with "DFACS" (Department of Families &
Children Services) regarding my food stamps.

The Department, in an effort to dissuade more people from getting/keeping
food stamps and stay alive, has changed their interview methods. Now, for
either application or review, an individual has to first have access to a computer,
fill out that form, and then call IN to DFACS to speak to a human rep for an
interview before the information can even be processed further.

And there's the rub; Getting a live person is impossible.

It's a bitter irony that this government agency is called the 'Department of
HUMAN Resources,' as there are no humans to be found, and certainly no
resources. Another lovely government oxymoron.

I understand that the more difficult they make this, the fewer people they'll
have to deal with. But this agency was created to assist people, and that's
what they need to be doing.

Last week I waited a combined total of 2 & 1/2 hours on the phone, only to
be cut off each time without making any contact.

Today I waited for an hour before getting disconnected. I finally reached a
rep's voice mail, and it was full. I called a different department and got trans-
ferred in, and received a busy signal.

I went to my local office and asked to see a rep, and they refused me. I asked
for a complaint number, and they told me to call the one I couldn't get through
on. I told them I don't have the ability to sit around on the phone all day, and
they said "I guess you will if you want your stamps."

This is completely unacceptable. My stamps, which I truly require to get my
food and stay alive--will be cancelled if I don't reach DFACS in time to renew.
The burden is on me. Yet they are impossible to reach. Someone really needs
to lose their job over this recent change, but more importantly, it needs to go
back to the old method.

(By the way, I received two different letters from two different locations of
DFACS offices telling me to be ready at specific dates at specific times to
receive a call for my phone interview. It's ONLY because I went to the local
office to see why I had two different appointments--after I had been on the
phone 3 hours that day unable to reach a person--that I found out the letters
were to be disregarded and they no longer did things that way. So they are
really in a bad way with disorganization and incompetence.)

Please see to it that the right people are addressing this problem, which is
surely affecting millions of people statewide.

Thanks for your attention and time,

Sincerely,
Robert Sayre

*************************************************************


It took me a total of 17 phone calls, three visits to the local DFACS office, several
conversations with contacts within the system, said e-mails being sent out, and a
sum total of over 21 hours to get my review completed.

Beyond unacceptable, and I'm a tenacious bastard who won't take 'No' for an answer.
What of all the meek and mild who don't have the strength or know-how to stand
up for themselves?

The workers themselves--the low level case workers who didn't implement this
ridiculous system but are forced to listen to enraged clients every day on the
phone calls that get answered--are fed up with the ineffective and frustrating
new system. I'm sure they'd give an interested reporter quite an earful.
****




Monday, July 8, 2013

Can't Even Shit in Peace


WANTED:

Designers of public bathrooms

that take 1,200 square feet of open space
and place the only toilet
six damned inches from the wall...

with a toilet paper dispenser
positioned firmly where you would stand
in order to sit down correctly
on said toilet.

I'm looking for them;
I got a reward I want to give them.

Assholes.

***


Saturday, June 1, 2013

Friday, May 31, 2013

I Can Name a Few Things that Use More Facial Muscles


The exquisite Coco Peru; Drag Queens can maintain presence without smiling!
I don't know who first contrived the nonsense about smiling
taking fewer facial muscles than frowning...

Probably some nutty religious zealot trying to fool everyone
into acting all Holly-Jolly all the annoying-ass damned time.

Regardless, I call 'Bullshit.'

Frowning is my natural damned state, and it comes easily
and makes sense.

Smiles hurt my face and go against the grain of my soul.

So don't front on that shit.

Too much smiling burns worse than cum in your eye.

"IT burns, Gabriel...it BURNS!"

*******************************************

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Der-de DERRRR! The New Math!

'All's I know' is...

Congress is obviously not made up of the
sharpest tools in the shed.

They might shoulda re-thunk that whole business
about making guns easily accessible to the huddled
unwashed, because with their UNpopularity at an
even deeper record low now...well, you do the math.

Take away our voices and our power, and
in the same moment grant us access to guns?!?

Tain't too swift, speedy!

Folks are ready for more than just 'Election Day'
comeuppance, thank you very much.

***

Friday, May 24, 2013

Get it Up


Life is HARD, kids!

So YOU better get Hard...

and Fuck it before it Fucks you!

***

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

A Call to Arms


Pat Buchanan recently renewed his
'Total Dick Card' by saying some
new outrageous shit about how
he and his right wing conservative
(not-even) Christians need to get brutal
with gays and lesbians.

Well, Patricia, be careful
what you wish for.

See, you and your ilk
have been raging assholes for decades,
and we're only now fighting fire
with force.

You wanna up your game, sissy?
Well, up yours.

We can get shitty and load guns too, bitch.

But we don't need to threaten you;
you and yours look pretty piss-poor.
I imagine you'll be dropping dead and
turning into fossil fuels any day now.

But we can take you,
even if your hate ends up
empowering you another few
dozen years, Nosferatu.

***

Friday, May 10, 2013

Translations 'R' Us



When other people dismiss you and condemn you,
it doesn't mean that you aren't worth paying attention
to or that you don't have something to offer.
It means your detractors aren't smart enough to
recognize your value, or they're compensating for
some Everest-sized shame and lack of confidence
of their own.
Either way, if you just learn to say "Fuck 'em all,"
you've kind of amply covered all your bases.
***

Friday, April 26, 2013

Pest Control

"HOW  DUBYA  LIKE  ME,  NOW !?!?"


Same as before, you inbred,
ignorant, war-mongering dip shit;
Not a single god damned lick.

Go crawl in a hole and die,
why don'tcha-- you outdated cheese.

You sponsored a library?
That's like Cheney teaching charm school.
That's like Republicans feeding the poor.
That's like a low-intellect illiterate buffoon with
no original thought and no concept of reality
promoting reading.
(Oh, wait--it is like that; you and Wifey
got that shit covered tight!)

You're a screw-up, a coke head, a
racist, a killer of men women and children,
a petty tyrant, a liar, a silver-spooned
beneficiary of plenty-o-money and
two stolen/purchased elections.

That's your legacy, con man.

Let it never be forgotten.

***

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Disparity Brings Clarity

Quick! Act like we're all as stupid as
'The Powers That Be' wish we were,
and explain this to me!

Explain the disparity between allowing gun-toting
alarmists and nuts the 'freedom to assemble'
when we know they're planning to take down America,
they threaten and intimidate at every turn,
and their purpose is to oppose the law....







...
yet authorities demonize and assault the peaceful protesters
who want to hold accountable the corrupt system that
exists (and its warlords,) and who are looking
for accountability and making the system work
from within.

Hmmnnnnnn.









Thanks for making it clear, Gestapo Amerika;
Violence and the Threat of Violence Rules.

We need to fight fire with fire and start
bringing weapons and making veiled threats
in order to get your attention and
not be abused when attempting to
exercise our free speech rights.

Totally doable.

***

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Impending Utter Cat-Ass-Trophy

I may need to pull a 'rethink' on
all this 'gun rights' horseshit!

Since we can't keep guns away from the loons
(you know--the ones who already have them!),
let's just start handing out loaded guns to
EVERYBODY!

You know; Mexicans, Gays, Blacks, Liberals,
Mentally Ill, Menstruating Women, Single Women,
Loose Women, Lesbian Women, Abortionists,
Atheists, Immigrants, and so on...

and let us be 'more than ready' when the
nut balls start some shit.

If you can't beat 'em, be enjoined by 'em!

***

Monday, April 8, 2013

A Shift in Consciousness!

Hey, kids--LOOK!
Some good news on the economic future
of America! Woo-hoo!
It's no longer profitable to
maintain the military industrial complex
that once made this country...well,
the undesired and despised police of the world!
(Hmmm...wonder if that coincides with
Cheney being out of office? Oh well!)

But fear not--
we're shifting gears and charting
a course for a more humanitarian
endeavor to ensure the future
of our souls as well as our pocketbooks! 

Now we're a Prison Industrial Complex!
All right!
Just throw everybody in jail; all the poor
people, political dissenters, crazy people,
and the unemployed...now that prisons are
for-profit organizations, it's not substituting
one system of taxpayer welfare for another!


It's awesome; just keep whittling away
at the populace until there's nobody left on
the outside of the prison walls but some
immensely satisfied uppity white guys with
massive bank accounts.

Onward and upward;
profiting off hardship is the American Way!
"Sucks to be You"
oughta be our new national slogan!


Saturday, April 6, 2013

Wishes and Fishes: Maintain Specificity!

Palin: Can't take a hint!
A word to the wise.....of the "Be careful what
you wish for" variety.
  
Bachmann
The next time feminist groups and women's rights
groups and thinking people everywhere start
decrying that "What Washington needs is more of
that nurturing, positive, feminine energy infused in order
to bring about clear leadership and crucially
compassionate decision-making!"....
 
Musgrave
 Uhhh.....
maybe be a little more clear than
"Let's get more women elected!"
 
Brewer
Just saying!
 
Everhart
 A vagina is not a magic gateway
to progress; ignorant Douche Bags come in
a wide variety of Krazy.

Kern

***