Pray for the Children? Pray for the Praying!

So the gun nuts are using the shooting in Newtown
to call for even more guns and as an excuse to hoard
even more high-powered killing devices...

the religiously intolerant are calling upon their
crazy, false version of god to save the rest of us....

the politicians and the greedy evangelicals are using 
the mass killing to (conveniently) blame the people they
have always hated and feared, promoting their dark agenda....

and the media continues to milk the event for every
last shred of mileage they possibly can, unrelenting and
self-congratulating all the way to ratings gold.

When did sanity go on an extended Leave of Absence?

I'm sort of hoping that tonight does mark the end of the
world; this planet needs a humanity-enema.

***************************************

Label Yourself!

OWN  WHAT  YOU  KNOW!

OWN  WHAT  YOU  ARE!

WEAR  THE  BADGE 

PROUDLY!

***

Orgy-Ball Run

Thinking over the things I might most want to do in prepping

for the 'End of the World' this Friday's end, I

considered inner peace, feasting, saying final

words of kindness to loved ones, but I

always come back (heh heh!) to the idea

of one, big, delicious screw-fest.

So, seeing as I live in the dead-center apex

of Dullardsville and Pent-Up Central, I'd

appreciate an e-mail of info as to where I can

find my closest "World's End Orgy."

A Good Time will be had by all!

"It's the last ass-grab of the year--or any year!"

***

In a Nutshell

Alone for the Holidays

Recently a friend opined that she was sad and lonely

because none of her family had contacted her during

the Thanksgiving week. I encouraged her that this

was a particularly celebratory piece of news, and I

would feel damned proud if none of my Fam-Damned-ly

ever contacted me again!

It was perhaps not the sought after reaction, but it

was for damned sure a legitimate one!

What's to despair in being alone?

No more being barely tolerated by two-faced

fickle fucks whom you can't stand anyway?

Finding out the hard way that everyone is

fair-weather and unreliable in a real pinch?

Oh wait! I know what lonely and depressed people miss

about being around other people! Being interrupted

and condescended to!

Or perhaps being ignored!

Or maybe it's being treated like you're crazy while

everyone else talks of equally banal and ridiculous

errata and pretends they're fabulous?

No one talks anymore, anyway--they all have their

faces planted in electronics. Who needs a pseudo

'face-to-face' ?

I say "Embrace the aloneness!"

Being alone is enlightening and the ultimate

freedom. Detach from the manufactured

notion that you cannot accomplish or be

satisfied amidst your own company!

Strip down pretense.

Reject compromise.

Abandon 'settling.'

The best writers in the world will tell you,

there's nothing that beats separating from

the rat race to gain perspective and

contentment!

***

Trade Off

"Here ya go, fella...some shoes ought to offset

the harassment, abuse, beatings, killings,

and allowance of said crimes against you and

yours by my fellow officers though the years!

Mazel Tov!"

***

Selling Up

Bark more,

wag less.

'Tis the Season (Not Really)

Fuck a "Family Gathering."

That's right...Fuck it.

The worst asshole in our 'family' is the one all obsessed

with the family tree and finding out about the past.

Sure enough--he can't deal with real people so

he's safe dealing with the dead.

Personally, I don't wanna know my living

relations, so why would I want to read about the ones

who are gone?

This time of year is ludicrousness beyond compare;

a manufactured 'holiday' where people feel

compelled to spend time with blood relatives

they're virtual strangers with (or avoid due

to deep and abiding hatred of them) and

play-act togetherness for a day...or three.

If there's a reason y'all don't get along,

I say Go With It! Trust your instincts!

Don't let tradition and guilting and obligation

cause you to spend another moment of unhappiness.

Life's too short, and gene pools are too shallow.

Family's what you make of it; and mine is magical....

(I just want to make those sum bitches DISAPPEAR!)

I'll be contentedly and calmly spending a day

all by myself, knowing it's the best company I could

possibly have.

***

Baaa, Baaa, Black-Friday Sheep

Figured I'd go ahead and get this out of the way...

Because I would hate like hell to

celebrate just one god damned holiday

before we're prepping for the

next three or four.

Jesus', Juan, and Maria... enough already.

***

"Yes...unfortunately, I CAN hear you now."

So, I know that cell phone use is evidently more

addictive that porn, nicotine, and alcohol put

together. Silly bitches (of both sexes) can't be

bothered to turn off their cell phones in line,

at the store, at a restaurant, in the library, or

(of course) in a moving vehicle.

I know that one day last week there had to

have been at least a dozen ignorant mother

fuckers who were driving while on a cell phone

within just a short 5 block drive.

Taking corners, missing stoplights, on the highway.

They don't care; they're invulnerable...greatest drivers ever.

Bullshit.

Ignorant-ass, ridiculous, life-risking pieces of shit;

HANG UP the mother-fucking phones AND DRIVE.

Hang 'em up in public too. Here's a news flash;

I do not give a good god damn about your

private life, your drama, your personal business

of any sort. Calm down, stop shouting, stop

posing, stop making me hear your worthless

bullshit.

Because we both know you are NOT that

damned important, and really have nothing to say.

***

Bad Pig

Anyone who's been inside the front door of the

Donalsonville Piggly Wiggly and has a nose that

works knows there is a serious problem with

mildew/mold outbreak, probably as bad as the one

over at the EMC office lobby.

After having suffered headaches from smelling

the offensive odor for over a year now, I

figured I'd see if they were planning on doing

anything about it.

So, the clerk brings out the manager, who

looks quite disagreeable to my reporting this, and

asks me "Who are you!??!"

As in "Who the fuck are you to be reporting

anything about my store? Who do you think you are?

Are you with OSHA? Piggly Wiggly corporate?"

sigh.

So she sends me to the Produce department since

that's not her department (although one would think

store air quality would be under a manager's purview)

and I explain that the entire produce section and the front

area where the cash registers are have a horrible mildew

smell. Repeatedly I'm asked to explain where it is.

I don't know how difficult "all throughout" is to

understand. To affect 1,200 square feet, a smell is bad.

So he ends up deciding it's a single shelf, explaining

that it can't be the machines because they were all

taken out and cleaned recently. I suggested the floors

would be a good possibility--water getting underneath

and not being dried--but he didn't think that was the answer.

I was told that they would 'look into it,' which of course

 is the business equivalent of "let's talk soon."

Here's the thing; this is not something I alone have

smelled; a cashier there just last week said that 3 other

people had complained that very day.

So, if you want something done about it, you

should probably call and report the matter. And if you

or a friend or family member work there, you should

definitely raise a stink! Because mold and mildew

infestation is serious shit, man, and it doesn't just

affect those who are already impaired by age or lung

or allergy issues; there are severe long-tern health problems

that affect the respiratory system from prolonged

exposure. Just in case you care.

Personally, I think I'll just shop elsewhere.

***

"Would Romney Have It Easier As A Latino ?" - Rosie Perez Breaks It Down

Key & Peele: "I Sunk Your Battleship, Bitch!"

The guys continue to hit them out of the park!

Even if you're familiar with the scathing and hilarious "Key & Peele" sketch
comedy show, this is one you can watch over and over for a good belly laugh!

Take it away, fellas.

***********************************************

Stick with What Ya Know

I'm thinking I'll go as Frankenstein's Monster

for Halloween this year,

since there's barely any prep work involved.

I'm sullen and dark,

I have a big-ass forehead you can

show a movie on,

my body is precariously pieced together

and definitely doesn't match up,

due to back and hip problems

I stumble more than I walk,

everyone steers clear of me

due to projections and misunderstandings,

and due to this bronchial

'walking crud' I've had for the last month,

I sound like ol' 'Frankie' here--

every time I breathe I clear my throat like

a professional librarian.

"Urrrghhh! Aheckkk! Ughhhngh!"

Hey, play to your strengths!
First rule of the stage.

***

Redneck Strategy

"Shore 'nuff;

If I jus' keep

smiling and charming

the whole time

I'm lying through my teefs

and talking shit,

it makes you

as stupid as I am!

Damn I'm smooth!

Hee-yuck...Suckers!"

***

A Note of 'Thanks' to the Log Cabin Republicans

The innate beauty of a repressed, self-hating homo;
the incomparable Roy Cohn


A Big and Hearty "Thanks...for Nuthin'"
to the joke-of-all-jokes, the Queer Republicans.

Followed by a healthy
"Go Fuck Yourselves!"
Because, seriously, no one else
had better be having sex with your worthless asses.


That's right; No more Dick for you.

Not an issue, I suppose, since
your heads are so far up your collective asses
that there's no possibility of fucking or sucking, anyway.

Too bad there's not an award for most embarrassing,
pandering, wrong-minded, self-destructive
nutty behavior.
At least then you'd have something to show for your actions.

LCR's Executive Director; What the fuck is he so happy about?

***

The Donald. Oy Vey...Again?

Well, you really can't tell people with more money

than sense to stop embarrassing themselves, so....

might as well go along for the ride.

PRESS CONFERENCE TRANSCRIPT:

12:00 Noon:

Donald: (intermittent whining, whimpering, and mewling)

12:01 p.m.

Donald: "Uh, well...you all know why I have called you here

today....because I am hungry for attention and out of

my god damned mind."

12:02 p.m.

Donald: "I hereby accuse President Obama of being

someone I will go to any lengths to discredit,

including inventing bullshit and making mountains

out of mole hills."

12:03 p.m.

Donald: "But...but...how can I make it about ME? me, me, me, me,

MEEEE!

I'm just so darned angry I won't be ruling the nation!

But at least I want to have someone in there looking

out for billionnaires, dammit."

12:04 p.m.

Crowd: "Who gives a fuck, you washed up cunt?

Why don't you get a life, you screwball?"

Yeah, I think that about sums it up.

***

Short and Sweet

It's not "Rebel Without a Clue"

nor "Rebellion without Just Due"

It's Recognition of How Far Wrong

the Ship has Sailed all along.

Take this simple phrase your way

and you'll be prepped, come what may:

"Fuck you, fuck them,

fuck one, fuck all,

fuck them hard and fast,

right up against the wall.

Fuck off, fuck on,

fuck night, fuck day,

with pencil dick, donkey dick,

one ball, or none.

Do whatever it takes

to fuck a fucker,

they're not hard to find

there's always one sneaking

up from behind.

Call a spade a spade

and stand up to the shit,

or come sooner or later,

you'll have no dick

to fuck with."

***

Calling it Like I Smell 'em

I might as well carry this sign around,

full fucking time.

Seems like all I have surrounding me are bitches,

cons, liars, Can't-Understand-Nothing-Trolls, and selfish

 assholes...and brother, I am sick of it!

PURGE

!!>

Looks like Madge has the right idea there

with a little Fall cleaning!

"Crazy, begone! I gots my own shit

sandwich to finish devouring!

Don't need yours, too!"

***

As If

People always ask me "How can you stay out there in the woods all

alone? Don't you get bored?"

"NO...I read."

"But...don't you get lonely?"

"NO, I don't.  Have you met any human beings lately?"


When you have invested time and money and energy and trust into

other human beings, only to get fucked hard in the end--and no, not

in a good way--your appreciation of people and the 'necessity' of

relations tends to diminish in a drastic way.


You come to realize that the concept of 'friend' is chiefly a construct

of fiction, wishful thinking, and romanticism. A desperate effort, really,

to find externally what should first and foremost be found within.


And everyone wants to chime in and 'educate' you and patronize you

with pithy platitudes about not letting bad apples spoil barrels, and

actually cheating self from positive experiences, and how life is not

worthwhile without social interaction.


blah, blah. I would counter ...."Bullshit."


Once I have burned my hand on a hot grill 49 times, I don't need a

magical 50th experience to put my accounting into perspective.


I got this.


I like my own company too much to ruin it by introducing someone else.


*****************************************************************************************

The Difference Is...

Remember when Sarah Palin....

the gun-toting crazy bitch and media-whore from 2008....

ran an ad campaign that suggested targeting certain

districts with gun sights.....

and this was the tamer of the results?

And then this was the biggest response to happen in the

effort to bring about accountability?

Yeah...you and me would be in jail

for conspiracy to incite, or some

other vague but useful legal angle

to prosecute people who are

obviously guilty of misconduct and

poor reasoning. Hmmnn.

'Instigation' is a crime, especially when murder

and incapacitation are the results.

***

Hand in Hand, Arms in Arm

But I do recall when my unarmed self,

flying solo, was campaigning for Obama

in 2008 and two ignorant local coppers

pulled their handguns on me in a feat

of intimidation and insanity.

As fate would have it, both those

inbred bastards are in the ground now

after less-than-stellar final days.

Sometimes shit does come back

around, after all, eh?

Keep firearms away from the

matter of protest and campaigns.

It's not a coincidence that the

people with the wrong party politics also

have the presumption to use physical

violence and intimidation to try and foist

their crazy views on others.

***

"Whatever it Takes, Babycakes!"

Survival of the Fittest is, at heart, dependent on the
flexibility of learning old ways aren't working, and
willingness to learn new ones.

Underhandedness is not off the table.
Morality is an outdated concept.
"By Any Means Necessary" is the new standard of
excellence, and slogan for all who wish to see tomorrow.

If 'anything goes,' then the only real answer to halting
someone out to harm you is to end that person mercilessly.
Do or die, baby....you're either the winner or the loser;
there is no in between.

A bullet to the head of an opponent can make things a
bit messy if you don't have the resources for disposal
(or, greasing the hands of necessary accomplices.)

A lack of resources isn't a dead-end, however. One can
attempt to fly under the radar and keep your nose clean.
That doesn't mean staying out of the arena; War can be
waged in all kinds of ways.

And you'd best be prepared to rumble; staying out of the
fight promises nothing. Some will imagine you weak,
even target you as a result of passivity. No rest for the weary.
Eventually, you have to throw down to prove you can.

The problem is we live in a society where the pretense
at least is of a civilized society, and there are certain
agreed-upon standards of behavior that unpopular, poor,
and unconnected people must abide by, lest we wish to
be disappeared into the labyrinth of one institution or
another.

Creativity, hand in hand with bold determination, is our
only counter. Whereas many have wealth, resources,
compatriots, and network to rely on, the rest of us are in
the midst of the dog-eat-dog harsh reality.

Personally, being left with no one and nothing has made me
stronger than ever. I've found depths of pain and gristle I
never knew existed. I have tapped into my animalistic side,
become a warrior and survivalist, and deadened myself to
all weakness.

It's all a part of the process. In this world, in order to
hold your own, everything old must die in order for the
new you to be born. If you want to live badly enough,
that's where it's at.

***********************************************

"All's Fair in Ambivalence and Water Sports"

The 'Golden Rule?'

I have my own version;

the 'Golden Shower Rule.'

"Don't piss all over me,

and I won't piss all over you."

***

Wake-Up Call: Thinning the Herd

The repellent savagery and 'Big Hot Mess' that is Life
may not be as readily evident in America as it is, say,
in the starving regions of West Africa or other more
impoverished global stages in the 'third world.'

But aside from the prestige and pretense of the upper
crust regions, there are plenty of American slums, drug
dens, homeless populations, horribly impoverished
neighborhoods, that all point to the illegitimacy and failing
of the American Dream.

These days, there's a greater likelihood of finding these
dire situations than of finding happy-go-lucky dream
achievers. (But please, Johnny-come-lately Veep runners,
tell us alllll about the 'opportunities!')

There are multitudes of uninsured living without assistance,
the disabled struggling without funds or care, the under-
employed striving to do right and still not make it, college
grads with no opportunities, addicts with no help or counseling
available to them, and so on.

People 'Living' the barest of existences, horror stories really.

We overlook them easily..it's hard to look directly into
the sun and still be able to see.

When there's nothing to be done, it's easier to ignore
the image or notion that offends us.

Inner-city violence , drug overdosing, spread of disease,
millions of miserable self-destructive, self-hating
homosexuals (Thank you, religious Overlords!), racism
and separatism still quite alive and thriving, and all of us
conveniently geographically and emotionally distanced
from one another, worshipping our new god of autonomy
and independence.

We avoid the dark for as long as we can, immersing
ourselves, distracting, comforting, medicating, consuming,
until we are irrevocably finding ourselves in the midst of
the tale, or no longer able to lay witness to the invisible
around us.

There is a storm coming, and it's going to be bad.

The landscape will change radically, and much of what
we all 'know' (assume) to be true will be torn asunder.
...revealed for the false hope it ever was.

Not everyone will survive the transition.
Already, T.P.T.B. are pushing through for the 'lowest of the
lows' to be done away with; lack of care for the terminally
ill, lack of proper treatment for the mentally ill, no treatment
for returning vets with disorders, no assistance for those
without jobs or resources, and so on.

We cut the school staffs and the social programs when those
areas are ill-equipped to handle any more surrenders.

The new status quo is going to shock the Bejeezus out of some.

What goes up, must come down, though.
And the bill has finally come due.

*****************************************************

"To scare myself with my own desert places."

Living in the South is like being in the desert. Not in the most
obvious sense, as with the heat and bothersome bugs and
perils of snakes and other horrific critters... although that's
here, too.

No, in the south it's dry.
Slow.
Boring.
Dirty.
Uncomfortable.
And Nothing grows here, either.

The only way to get some excitement is to have heatstroke
or suffer from the effects of a mirage.

"Why not move?" A simple enough query.

Would if I could.

Times are tough, obligations plentiful.  But that's not all.

All the Kerouacs and world travellers and adventurous sorts...
all the 'Kumbaya' and openness to discovery....all that 'hitch
your wagon to the stars' and 'the world is my oyster' stuff makes
for great movies, and it sounds like a pip.

But.

But it's mostly great when you're in your twenties.
Maybe your thirties.

Works great at any age when you're well-off financially, or
have places to stay should/when problems arise.

Works great when your body's in great shape and your
options are plentiful.

But my world's grown smaller and less-populated, habits
have become history, and I know what I know.

Making the most of what you have should be an Olympic
event--it sure takes a ton of hard work, sacrifice and training.

Perhaps I'm merely drained of all soul and adventurous
spirit from my long and arduous journey through the swampy,
intolerant, unflinching environs of the South.

Those words and glares and 'sublimated' threats are as
sticky as an armpit at High Noon.

Maybe the whole point of venturing out of the desert is
the hope that--against the odds--there is something
beyond these limited borders, which have now afflicted
our minds, too.

If only we can overcome the fear that the torture to come
is worse than the torture which has kept us in place.

********************************************************

The Blend is the Thing

Nobody has the life they planned.

People might have portions or segments of

a desired life or lifestyle, if they're extraordinarily

lucky.

But mostly even those folks are making do

with the cards dealt, accommodating the

unforeseen darkness and the different form of

light that appeared.

We can make peace with things as they are.

We can work overtime to avoid the reality of

loss and pain and despair and struggle.

We can find new interests and aspects to embolden us.

We can take satisfaction from rare moments.

We can be content with our best efforts.

But nobody holds magic in their hands...

not for more than a short, fleeting moment

of time.

No one has their heart's desire;

the appearance to the contrary is often just

a ploy to make others jealous, and to fictitiously

'hold the cards' as means of compensation for

the real thing.

No matter how Rico Suave' or Paul Perfect folks

pretend to be, they have the same dark demons

they're running from as every other sad-sack bastard

on the planet.

Maybe that can help you sleep better at night.

***