Wednesday, November 21, 2012

'Tis the Season (Not Really)


Fuck a "Family Gathering."
That's right...Fuck it.

The worst asshole in our 'family' is the one all obsessed
with the family tree and finding out about the past.
Sure enough--he can't deal with real people so
he's safe dealing with the dead.

Personally, I don't wanna know my living
relations, so why would I want to read about the ones
who are gone?

This time of year is ludicrousness beyond compare;
a manufactured 'holiday' where people feel
compelled to spend time with blood relatives
they're virtual strangers with (or avoid due
to deep and abiding hatred of them) and
play-act togetherness for a day...or three.


If there's a reason y'all don't get along,
I say Go With It! Trust your instincts!

Don't let tradition and guilting and obligation
cause you to spend another moment of unhappiness.
Life's too short, and gene pools are too shallow.


Family's what you make of it; and mine is magical....
(I just want to make those sum bitches DISAPPEAR!)

I'll be contentedly and calmly spending a day
all by myself, knowing it's the best company I could
possibly have.

***

Monday, November 19, 2012

Baaa, Baaa, Black-Friday Sheep


Figured I'd go ahead and get this out of the way...

Because I would hate like hell to
celebrate just one god damned holiday
before we're prepping for the
next three or four.

Jesus', Juan, and Maria... enough already.

***

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

"Yes...unfortunately, I CAN hear you now."


So, I know that cell phone use is evidently more
addictive that porn, nicotine, and alcohol put
together. Silly bitches (of both sexes) can't be
bothered to turn off their cell phones in line,
at the store, at a restaurant, in the library, or
(of course) in a moving vehicle.

I know that one day last week there had to
have been at least a dozen ignorant mother
fuckers who were driving while on a cell phone
within just a short 5 block drive.
Taking corners, missing stoplights, on the highway.
They don't care; they're invulnerable...greatest drivers ever.

Bullshit.


Ignorant-ass, ridiculous, life-risking pieces of shit;
HANG UP the mother-fucking phones AND DRIVE.

Hang 'em up in public too. Here's a news flash;
I do not give a good god damn about your
private life, your drama, your personal business
of any sort. Calm down, stop shouting, stop
posing, stop making me hear your worthless
bullshit.

Because we both know you are NOT that
damned important, and really have nothing to say.

***


Monday, November 12, 2012

Bad Pig


Anyone who's been inside the front door of the
Donalsonville Piggly Wiggly and has a nose that
works knows there is a serious problem with
mildew/mold outbreak, probably as bad as the one
over at the EMC office lobby.

After having suffered headaches from smelling
the offensive odor for over a year now, I
figured I'd see if they were planning on doing
anything about it.

So, the clerk brings out the manager, who
looks quite disagreeable to my reporting this, and
asks me "Who are you!??!"
As in "Who the fuck are you to be reporting
anything about my store? Who do you think you are?
Are you with OSHA? Piggly Wiggly corporate?"


sigh.

So she sends me to the Produce department since
that's not her department (although one would think
store air quality would be under a manager's purview)
and I explain that the entire produce section and the front
area where the cash registers are have a horrible mildew
smell. Repeatedly I'm asked to explain where it is.
I don't know how difficult "all throughout" is to
understand. To affect 1,200 square feet, a smell is bad.

So he ends up deciding it's a single shelf, explaining
that it can't be the machines because they were all
taken out and cleaned recently. I suggested the floors
would be a good possibility--water getting underneath
and not being dried--but he didn't think that was the answer.

I was told that they would 'look into it,' which of course
 is the business equivalent of "let's talk soon."
Here's the thing; this is not something I alone have
smelled; a cashier there just last week said that 3 other
people had complained that very day.


So, if you want something done about it, you
should probably call and report the matter. And if you
or a friend or family member work there, you should
definitely raise a stink! Because mold and mildew
infestation is serious shit, man, and it doesn't just
affect those who are already impaired by age or lung
or allergy issues; there are severe long-tern health problems
that affect the respiratory system from prolonged
exposure. Just in case you care.

Personally, I think I'll just shop elsewhere.

***