Wednesday, February 9, 2011

When I actually look.....


Suddenly I looked around--and within-- to
see that I had, in defensiveness, judged too
severely.

Of course the behavior I had allowed to provoke
me was not correct. But as I stopped to notice
what must be behind all the criticism, the need
to have the approval of others at all costs, the
unconscious seeking of conflict and confrontation....
it became clear only a pained mind and spirit
would drive such a person.

As I saw past my own pain and story, I found
I could have compassion that other people have
their own pain and story, often with the same
less than stellar outer representations in their
current life. "Don't believe the hype."

All the things we consider 'character defects' in
others, are not ours to evaluate. Don't I give a
free pass for my own issues knowing the hurt and
cause behind it? Don't I imagine others should
cut me slack for the things I have endured?
Why, then, can I not apply the same to another?

I get caught in the immediacy of being annoyed by
bossiness, or offended by attempts to control...
I scoff at easily wounded hypersensitivity, and
shake my head about the constant striving for
popularity. I shrug a superior nod at the notion of
how easily traceable the roots of OCD and
devotion to image. But who am I to judge?

There's a real and hurting soul behind every
facade and every label; a story behind every
human face.

I need not allow myself hurt or drawn into the
web of someone else's patterns any longer, but
I can withdraw in a loving way. I need not guard
myself with a hard hand or cold heart.

Let's stop the cycle of contempt, here and now.

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