Kill it Dead

I keep burying the errant feelings
I had for you, but they rise
demanding flesh.


I keep shooting between the eyes
to kill it dead as if  brains
were involved.


Evidently, I must flee to survive
lest be devoured once more,
unceremoniously.


I cannot care for my welfare
is at stake if I hesitate in the least.


I understand the need
for self preservation; I know
why you exacted me from your world.


I have been there, done that,
felt the remorse instantly...
we do what we have to to survive.
I object to using a shotgun
to kill a housefly.


I wish you hadn't reneged on
your decision; I didn't like being
hurtful to point out boundaries.
Maybe it couldn't have happened
any other way.


"Go on now go...walk out the door...
don't come around here..."


Have to be strong. Can't let you
back in to hurt me again.


I hated to see you sick. I
wondered which of your multitude
of friends was holding your hand
and looking after you now?
Still wanted it to be me....
then I remembered you kicking me
while I was down. Oops!
No more pity now!


You really missed out on a good thing.