When I actually look.....

Suddenly I looked around--and within-- to
see that I had, in defensiveness, judged too
severely.

Of course the behavior I had allowed to provoke
me was not correct. But as I stopped to notice
what must be behind all the criticism, the need
to have the approval of others at all costs, the
unconscious seeking of conflict and confrontation....
it became clear only a pained mind and spirit
would drive such a person.

As I saw past my own pain and story, I found
I could have compassion that other people have
their own pain and story, often with the same
less than stellar outer representations in their
current life. "Don't believe the hype."

All the things we consider 'character defects' in
others, are not ours to evaluate. Don't I give a
free pass for my own issues knowing the hurt and
cause behind it? Don't I imagine others should
cut me slack for the things I have endured?
Why, then, can I not apply the same to another?

I get caught in the immediacy of being annoyed by
bossiness, or offended by attempts to control...
I scoff at easily wounded hypersensitivity, and
shake my head about the constant striving for
popularity. I shrug a superior nod at the notion of
how easily traceable the roots of OCD and
devotion to image. But who am I to judge?

There's a real and hurting soul behind every
facade and every label; a story behind every
human face.

I need not allow myself hurt or drawn into the
web of someone else's patterns any longer, but
I can withdraw in a loving way. I need not guard
myself with a hard hand or cold heart.

Let's stop the cycle of contempt, here and now.

***********************************

some day...by THROB

some day,
(not today,)
when you realize
that you:

jumped to conclusions,
assumed the worst,
assassinated my character,
falsely accused me,
perpetuated stereotypes,
wrote me off,
pushed me away,
overreacted,
misinterpreted,
didn't listen,
didn't pay attention,
were guilty yourself,
were channeling society,
were afraid,
were confused,
didn't mull it over long enough,
let the old ways dictate......

you should know
that:
you were forgiven
long ago.

that i understood
you
were not ready
to understand.

that your ability
to see
was limited
by experience and
circumstance and
perspective.

that i was aware of
and culpable
for my part,
as well.

that we were on
two different pages
but not
two different planets.

that it's just
another day
in the neighborhood,
even if we can't
remain
neighbors.

know that you
were forgiven
long ago.

(but not today.)