A Call to Arms

Pat Buchanan recently renewed his

'Total Dick Card' by saying some

new outrageous shit about how

he and his right wing conservative

(not-even) Christians need to get brutal

with gays and lesbians.

Well, Patricia, be careful

what you wish for.

See, you and your ilk

have been raging assholes for decades,

and we're only now fighting fire

with force.

You wanna up your game, sissy?

Well, up yours.

We can get shitty and load guns too, bitch.

But we don't need to threaten you;

you and yours look pretty piss-poor.

I imagine you'll be dropping dead and

turning into fossil fuels any day now.

But we can take you,

even if your hate ends up

empowering you another few

dozen years, Nosferatu.

***

Refreshed and Ready!

The CPAP is over y'all; the failing GOP party was resuscitated,
saved in its last dying breaths.

The CPAP--huh? Oh...excuse me...the CPAC...my bad.

(Though the other did make more sense.)
Anywho, we got us some new resolutions to trick votes outta folks.

We will prove to you that we are the party willing to do a complete
reversal on all our beliefs in order to stay in power!

Conviction? Fuck a conviction!

What do you want us to say and do to win you over? No, really--
tell us! Because we damned well can't figure it out and come to a
consensus.

We got an unbridled, nuclear-threat level of crazy with no place to
go. Like the Catholic church, we're awaiting a reinvention....some
rehabilitation...hell, even a resurrection.

(Although...it's probably best for most of us that we don't wish too
hard for that last one. Y'never know where we might end up.)

But in the meantime, send us some new groups to hate on so
we can keep our momentum going.

We may be changing our facade, but let's not get outta control;
pure evil doesn't roll up and go away. It just gets a touch-up.

We'll be destroying lives with self-aggrandizing bullshit again
before you know it.

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