Lies I Have Believed

I had an exercise once outlined for doing
work on increasing confidence and ridding
yourself of old 'tapes' and ideas.

It said to make a list of all the outmoded,
incorrect messages you had running around
in your brain.

Obviously, this would mean doing soul-
searching in order to be in touch with your
feelings, patterns, etc and be able to articulate
what was behind the self-destructive
tendencies.

Identifying at least some of these was not
the problem.

The problem is that all the tapes playing
appear to be bad, and that after identifying
them I have had little or no success with
eliminating them.

These are pretty pervasive. Pretty all-
encompassing. Having worked on
changing them for 20 years, I still don't
know that I believe them to be 'lies,' to be
quite honest.

"LIES I HAVE BELIEVED"
 
(aka "Wrong Ideas to Purge")


I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH

I AM NOT SMART ENOUGH

I AM NOT ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH


MY IDEAS ARE STUPID


I DON'T MEASURE UP


I DON'T DESERVE NICE THINGS


I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT


I CAN'T ACCOMPLISH THINGS BY MYSELF


I "CAN'T"....(fill in the blank)


I DON"T UNDERSTAND THINGS


I HAVE NO TALENT OR ABILITY


RUNNING AWAY ELIMINATES PROBLEMS


I NEED SOMEONE ELSE TO FEEL WHOLE


I HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER


*****************************

Many people probably would read
this and remark "I've thought that
from time to time." It's natural enough
depending on how you were raised.

I just seem to be unable to turn it
off from being a full-time looped tape.
No good thoughts survive in the
quagmire within. It certainly isn't
from lack of effort.

More Lies I have Believed

Aahhhh,,,,..the body!

How we love and respect our bodies and their
differences in this country. Oh, wait....


More of the same....


LIES I BELIEVED/TOLD MYSELF/BOUGHT

- I am not strong enough

- I am not coordinated enough

- I am not fast enough
- Other people have natural talents
- I'm not a real man

- I'm disgusting

- I'll never be anything but fat

- I am to be neither seen NOR heard

- I am on the outside looking in

- No matter how hard I try, I'll fail

- Other people's equipment is better

- People just naturally don't like me

- There's something wrong with me

************************************

For those who suffer from these issues,
you know full well that even when we can
identify the problem, these lies don't stop
seeming true. It takes a lot of continuing
effort to counter all this shit.  



We also have a tendency to believe our
own memories and interpretations of events
as supporting our theories, when in fact
we see what we want to see most of the time.


If you feel unloved, you appear hesitant and
unapproachable, people tend to avoid you,
and thus you continue to look at not being loved
as an unavoidable state as evidenced by your
current state.


We do play a role in keeping these beasts alive,
long after the damage has been done to us.

We perpetuate our own abuse at some point,
but we can also learn to halt it.


First, we must accept as possible that what we
'know' could be entirely otherwise.

Start today.